Last Goodnight

It’s been a hard night. 

I know it’s my last one with Julie, but I can’t really spend it with her. 


There she is. I can see her, in the same spot where she’s been for a few days now, under the dining room table, not moving. 


I suppose I never imagined what my last night with Julie would be like, but if I had my way, it would be like any other night with her for the last 14 years. Me on the couch, watching Netflix and doing work. Her on my lap until the very second I rose for bed. And her flicking upstairs after me, and spending the last half of the night on my legs, and waking me up with an array of chirping meows reminding me to feed her breakfast. 


Tonight won’t be like that. 


Before I go upstairs, I will say goodnight to her, as I always do. It’ll be for the last time. 


But I know she won’t follow me. She probably won’t move an inch. 


This isn’t the last night I wanted. 

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